How to Discipline a Ten Month Old Who May or May Not Know What He’s Doing. I’ve browsed amazon extensively, but from what i can tell, this is a glaring gap in the titles amongst the baby bibles.

“Raphael-no.” I’m bored of my own voice by the seventh time I’ve pulled him away from the computer wires slash guitar stand slash computer wires again. I wag my finger in front of his face, and he grabs my finger and tries to eat it. I look at him sternly, and then everything becomes a blur as my glasses are flung across the room merrily. I move him to the other side of the room, and a new distraction is found so good naturedly that I wonder if he feels rewarded for his frustrating behaviour.

So maybe he doesnt know that he’s being naughty. Maybe I should baby proof my house so extensively that every possible hazard is under lock and key and flexible plastic tag. But then why am I being given that cheeky (and yes I admit it, loveable) grin seconds before a tiny fist clenches over the radiator knob? And why does he stop and look around the room before he grabs the computer keyboard, managing to turn the entire screen upside down in one bash of the keys. (A state which it was left in for almost a full day until we figuredout how to reverse it)

He knows! And if he does know, then surely I, an adult, with intelligence, a degree, my own company for heavens sake, can outwit what is basically a onesie with an appetite, without having to resort to covering my house in protective casing, and handing it over to him on a silver platter.

Ideas on a postcard please, but maybe slip it inside an envelope, just in case it gets chewed to illegibility before I get to it.

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1 Comment

  1. hilarious!


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