Five years on..

If I could have a chat with myself 5 years ago today, I would tell her everything is going to get a lot worse before it gets better.

I would tell her to prepare herself, because the next few days are going to be an unbearable mix of shock, pain, anger, confusion and numbness.

I would tell her that the next few weeks are going to be a jumble of support from unexpected places, hurt from those she trusted most, and almost unreasonable levels of tiredness.

I would prepare her for the next few months, which will be a blur of new beginnings and goodbyes, and figuring out who she is with the new gap in her life.

I would be sure to mention that even with that newfound gap, the next year will be filled with a lot of laughter and friendship (old and new) as well as growth and change, travel and focus, and the building of a new phase of an old relationship that will no doubt change her life forever in the most wonderful of ways.

I would warn her that the next two or three years are going to be tough. A lot of waiting, a lot of guidance missing, a lot of maturing to do, and a lot of wishing.

And I would tell her that although she cant see it now, and wont see it at many times over the next half decade, and although it seems almost laughably far away, in five years she would be the happiest she has ever been, creating the family unit she always felt missing, feeling finally grown up, focused, driven, and loved.

If I could have a chat with myself 5 years ago today, I would tell her not to worry.. Everything’s going to get so much better.

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1 Comment

  1. Yaeli

     /  August 11, 2011

    Can’t believe it’s been 5 years 😦 Wow.
    Beautifully written. And what a beautiful wonderful life you have today. He’d be so proud of you. xx


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