The Commute

To the non jewish/non israeli (and in some cases polish) world, it may seem odd to have a job where you are in a different country from your family up to 4/5 days a week. Personally, it seems odd to me too. And yet it has become more and more common for a man to travel abroad for work, in order to make enough money to support his family in the lifestyle they choose. Why don’t they just all live in a country where that is possible? In regard to Israel, for ideological reasons, and in other cases, immigration laws and the like.

This new trend isnt for everyone. I truly admire those that can manage it, and succeed in maintaining a healthy and loving marriage. I admire even more the women left at home with x number of kids and no one to moan at slash cuddle up to at the end of a long day. But I couldnt do it. Maybe I’ll have to address this issue in the future when p’G we want to move to Israel ourselves, but for the moment, I cant see a situation where I wouldnt find it impossible. Today my husband left to go to Israel for a friends wedding. He will be gone under 3 days. I dont mind admitting it, and I’m sorry to the women mentioned above in advance, but I’m entirely miserable about it.

In our three years of marriage, we b’H have never spent a night apart, save the night after I had Raphael, which was easily the worst night of my life. (At least in this case no one is moving 4 newborn babies and their selfish mothers and pakistani relatives into my bedroom.) Now I am looking at three nights of sleeping by myself in a flat for the first time, after putting our son to sleep-  three long lonely evenings and three mornings waking up alone.

Most of you are probably rolling your eyes and saying ‘Get over it.’ It’s less than three days, he’l bring you something nice back, enjoy your alone time, get some early nights etc.

But I’m not embarassed. When I got married I was saying to the world I wanted to spend all the time I could with C, and three years on, I still do. I’m still sad when he says he has to work late, It still bothers me when I go out to work in the evenings or on a Sunday when he is home, and I still try and encourage him to stay up a bit later and play a game/watch a movie/talk some more. (some things really never change!) I dont care that you may call me sentimental or over-attached or unrealistic. I’m gonna be a moody cow until Friday morning when he is safely back home, and then I’m gonna make him promise we never have to do that again.

Here come those voices again, Oh you’d get used to it, the first time is the hardest, you make yourself a routine, you start to enjoy your alone time..

All probably true. But yknow what? I dont want to get used to it. I’m pretty happy the way I am, co-dependent, needy, overly romantic, and dare I say it, a very lot in love.

And that’s just me.

Have a good time Bub! xxx

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