Adventures of a parent, working from home.

Today may be the last day of my previously mentioned optimistic attempt to Work From Home.

Apparently my son is on a crusade to make it as obvious as possible that he is not happy with the lack of attention he is getting on a Monday and Tuesday morning.

This morning, after a while in his playroom, I heard the whinging begin, and opened the living room door to let him explore the house a bit, hopefully giving me an additional half hour to finish off my current task. It all began well, he immediately went to the magnets on his bedroom radiator, and was happily playing while I returned to my laptop. A few minutes later I see him wander on hands and knees into the kitchen, no doubt to helpfully remove all the food pouches from the shelf and tip out my box of child friendly cutlery. The kitchen being, believe it or not, one of the safer places in our flat, I decided to leave him to it.

A few minutes later, I am suddenly aware of how quiet it is. As every parent knows, it is not the noise you have to fear, the real trouble begins when you hear absolutely nothing. Quickly entering the kitchen, I hear an all too famillar noise. “Mm nyum myum.” From behind, I can see that R has sat himself happily by the now open snack cupboard. Oh disaster, I mentally list all the forbidden foods we currently have in stock. Chocolate, crisps, marshmallows, gummy bears, even boiled sweets and other choking hazards. Rushing over to him, I glance at the floor and spot half a bar of chocolate discarded next to my son. In his hands, the other half of the bar, half covered in the cardboard casing, with chocolate sticking out over the top, in easy reach of my son’s waiting mouth.

Of course, he isnt interested in the chocolate part of this naughty treat. He is far too busy chewing on the aluminium foil wrapping. That’s right, with chocolate a-plenty within swallowing distance, I instead spend the next 2 minutes removing pieces of tin foil from my sons mouth and hands, to great protestations.

This story kind of reminds me of the biblical tale of the first time King Pharoah met baby Moses. The story goes as following. To test the intentions of this tiny babe, the king placed two bowls in front of the baby. One contained gold and jewelry. The other, glowing shiny coals. If Moses reached for the coals, like any baby would when presented with something shiny, he passed the test. If he instead went for the apparently dull looking gems, the king would know he was after his crown, and remove him from the palace. Moses, being indeed cleverer than his years would suggest, reached for the treasure, and if not for an angel of God moving his hands to the coals, perhaps we would not be here today.

Apparently, my son is not the next Messiah. Not only did he fail this test, being enthralled by the shiny foil as opposed to the treasure of chocolate, I would bet money that when Moses was taken away from his treasure, he wasnt as easily placated with half a cracker.

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