Are you in there, Honey?

Based on the evidence I have gathered over the past 3 days, I would be very different without my husband.

Does anyone out there at all, bother cooking for one? I have resided for the most part this week, on tortilla chips, the remains of a cake I made last weekend, and some questionable cheese I found in the back of the fridge. Tonight I am opting for take-out, due to the fear I’m developing rickets from malnutrition. Even R looked unimpressed when I offered him cheerios for dinner. (That last part is a joke.. He was totally impressed. Still Joking. )

if I dont have the impetus to cook for one, you can imagine how I feel about cleaning for one. Washing up, wiping down surfaces, laundry… All out the window. My flat looks somewhat like a frat house, one occupied mainly by babies and single women, to explain all the books and toys and glossy magazines.

I havent opened R’s window blind since Monday, because I’m nervous that in the absence of my tall hubby it might snap all the way to the top and make me go get the step ladder to pull it down again. I havent eaten off real plates since he left because why should I have to scrape and clean them? And I’ve pretty much worn my pyjamas under all my clothes this week for the ease of the frequency I’ve been napping. I need a whole new word for how lazy I’ve apparently become.

In addition, in the short space of a few days, I have forgotten how to hold a conversation. Not having anyone above the age of 1 to talk to from 7pm until whenever I happen to cross paths with a bystander, is not good for my people skills. A lady said “excuse me” this morning on my way to work, and as my first adult communication of the day, I took out a headphone and snapped “What?!” Shockingly, she muttered “nevermind…” and hurried away. If perchance you found me via google nice lady who probably needed directions, my apologies, I am tired and grouchy from 3 days of single-mumming.. Mea Culpa, and I hope you found your way.

So there you have it. Without my other half, I am greedy, unhealthy, messy, lazy and rude. Luckily, C is coming back this evening, and I can get back to normal. Somewhere underneath everything, (pjs included) there will be again a wife and mother who makes lovingly prepared nutritious meals (for the most part), keeps her house sparkling (well… ish.), knows how to do basic household chores and can even hold a decent conversation and make people laugh once in a while.

(Here’s that anti feminist voice inside me coming out again…) It just looks like I need a man to make me bother to find her. All I can say is, its a good job I’m not single. After all, with these startling realisations about what I would be like, who would marry me? ๐Ÿ˜‰

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2 Comments

  1. Haha so true! I can relate to this. After having been a single mom for a bit in the past, I know how the priorities change! Glad i remarried or who knows how long I would have gone without getting out of my PJs. Thanks for the laugh!

    Reply

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