Dont forget to give thanks for Target.

Seasons greetings. Thanksgiving is not something I really understand the reasons for, but it gives me ample opportunity to blog American content, so I’m going to embrace it.

I do have one issue with it though..

  • Why is the official thanksgiving food turkey? You’re about 3 weeks away from having a giant turkey on Christmas! Surely it’s like how if you eat doughnuts too close to Chanukah you spoil the excitement? Besides which, turkey is the worst of the meats. I’m not sure why ANY festive day would involve a meat which manages to be both dry and greasy simultaneously, let alone two in the space of a month. Get a new food Thanksgiving, I reccomend Lamb.

Most people, when talking about American vs English, will immediately jump into a debate on different words and pronounciations, as well as meanings which have been confused on their way across the ocean sea. Not me. Being a huge fan of America, American shopping, American TV, Hollywood, Broadway, and my very own husband, I have learned to accept and love most things loud and in your face. (The opposite of him actually.) I have however, compiled a list of interesting things I’ve noticed in conversation with our friends the yanks, and list them here, with obviously no offence meant!

  • Want to see an interesting mix of emotions cross an americans face? Tell them you play Bingo. Whereas here, it has become semi-cool for us youngsters to habit a bingo hall on a weekday evening, sharing the floor with the pensioners and white trash, in the states, from what i can tell, Bingo is strictly confined to church halls and early bird dinners. Try it now american friends, thank me later.
  • Hi there USA, ‘Burglarize’ is not a word. Well what else is it called when you’ve been burglarized by evil burglars? Robbed. It’s called Robbed.
  • UK folks.. Imagine being Kosher in the states. Walking around your supermarket, picking things up, scanning the label, and then just putting it in your trolley. No wistful sighs, no reminding yourself to look it up when you get home, and no texting a friend to see if they can product search it for you online. Incredible. I think moving to the states must be like getting a free pass from God to start eating anything you like. Or like stopping being Lubavitch and having your first Pesach free from grinding your own almonds. (True slavery to freedom.)
  • This one is not confirmed, please help if you can, but I have heard a rumour that Americans do not know what the word Curry means. I actually think that says a lot about the difference in society… Then again, I know what Sombrero means.

Happy Thanksgiving!

To eat or not to eat..

I have a question that I like to ask to new friends or people over for meals. Being Jewish, the content often sparks some quite excitable debate and opinions. It’s basically the following:

If God came to you in the morning and said that for one day, you could eat anything you wanted.. what would your menu for the day be?

Being brought up strictly kosher, there is a wealth of foods that I have never tried, countless restaurants I have never eaten in and many combinations that are off limits. This question can fill up a lot of time.

I have heard a lot of interesting and surprising answers, but the game came to an abrupt standstill one evening when I posed the question to my eldest brother. Proving himself once and for all the holiest of our clan, he replied to God:

Trick question. You’re testing me. I will keep kosher anyway, and pass with flying colours.

… Oh.

In the Amish community, there is a custom known as Rumspringa, where from the age of 16, many adolecsent Amish are allowed to participate in ‘normal’ teenage behaviour, to give them a chance to choose to return to the church and be baptised Amish. As you can imagine, some dont return, although surprisingly, most do.

No disrespect to any other faith, but this seems crazy. Even for the ones who choose to return to their church, after months or years of drinking, driving, using modern technology, interaction with the opposite sex, how can they possibly go back to their limited lives?

Everyone knows once you have done something once or made a habit of it, letting go is so much harder. If God really did give me a ‘day off kosher,’ and I was lucky enough for it to fall on Tuesday so I could run off to Subway and grab a meatball marinara, no doubt the subsequent Tuesday would entail a much harder and more wistful walk past my local branch.

Why do that to yourself? Some might argue that having experienced what they are not allowed, and chosen their religion anyway, it makes it stronger and more meaningful for them. Without choice, they are simply being indoctrinated with their parents beliefs and brainwashed without their consent.

Hm.. Having strayed once or twice from the rules which hold our own religion together, my response to that view is.. -shrugs- Yes, sometimes I do feel good that I know what I’m missing out on and yet (pat on the back) I still hold fast to my religious values. Most of the time however, my feelings on those laws are firmly in two camps:

1. It wasnt that great anyway, so it doesnt bother me keeping it.
2. Laaaammme, why is this something I have to be keeping? Maybe I’ll just…

Nonchalance or Temptation. Neither were worth the deviation to be honest. So will I be turning R over at the age of 16 to the teens of Britian for a lesson in mind altering drugs and pre marital sex?

Quite frankly, I think I’d rather be accused of brainwashing him.