Daaaad? What does ‘Rewind’ mean?

Lately, I feel like I’m getting old.

Obviously not old, in the real sense of time. I have all my own teeth and hair, can still just about run for a bus, and can make spontaneous plans without having a nervous breakdown over the change in routine. But I am feeling slightly left behind. New technology is starting to confuse me, I find myself complaining about bands which truly are “just noise”, and I’m not ashamed to say that when I get an invite for an event past 9pm, my first emotion is fear that I may not be home by 11 to make my midnight sleep curfew.

So with this newfound ancient-ness, I am having a nostalgic look into my fleeting youth, and thinking about what R will never experience in the same way that I did.

1. Cars. Clearly he will experience some kind of car, but I really dont think it can be compared to my recollection of motor vehicles. Remember these?

  • Wondering whether you were really hot enough to make it worthwhile winding down the window? (a phrase our kids will douibtless never even say)
  • Debating the cost/benefit of opening the window on a motorway? (if you do, no one will be able to hear each other any more and you’l get bits of god-knows-what in your eyes, but if you dont, you may die of heatstroke)
  • Only being able to have music until you were out of the London area? [Ps-how rubbish is radio??] Then being subjected to someone’s ‘mixed tape’ that they assure you is amazing. It isn’t.

The mode of transport of today, with CD players, USB ports for iPods, windows which open at the press of a button, silent air conditoning, spacious seating, tinted windows and the like, are pretty much the equivalent of comparing the cars of my childhood with a horse and buggy.

2. Computers. Here are just a few of the computer-related things that he will never experience.

  • The sound of your computer actually dialling the internet.. How did we put up with that for so long?
  • When illegal downloading was a huge hassle and it was actually worth the money not to have to spend a week waiting for a movie to download.
  • Word Processors. Were they basically just a huge machine that only had Word on? This is actually the Amstrad that I had in my house. I was so cool.
  • When you were on the computer, you were at home, on the computer. In the computer room. Or at the computer desk. Certainly not in the garden. Or in Starbucks.
  • Watching movies on your computer? What-like on a CD ROM type thing? That’s incredible.

Other things my son will never know about.
– Blockbuster video (including videos in general)

– Walkmen and Discmen and the short lived Mini-disc players. (What an epic fail that was.) Remember having to choose what music you wanted to listen to that day first thing in the morning?

– Mobile phones with Aerials, and Keypads. I remember promising my mum, that if she bought me the Nokia 3210, I would never ever need another mobile phone in my life, because I simply couldnt imagine a more modern cell phone. Here it is.

– Setting the video to recorrd a show. Calling home to make sure your parents remembered to record a show. Being excited to watch the video, only to find out they’d missed the end or taped over it. Then having absolutely NO way to see it, no catch up, no I Player, no +1 channel.

– Terrible photos that cant be deleted. Going to get your film developed and looking through the photos. This one I’m kind of sad for him about, as it was just the most fun to see photos you’d pretty much forgotten taking, and to be excited over the ones that came out well. Digital photography definitely saves a lot of embarassment and money though.

I’m really okay about all of these things being gone, and I think for the most part he is better off for all the new technology of this generation. What scares me a bit is that he will have his own list of technology which no longer exists when he has his own children, things that we dont even know about yet. By then I may be one of those grandparents, that (with all the effort and good intentions in the world) cant turn predictive text off their phone, keeps emailing their entire address book simultaneously, and calls your new smartphone a “blueberry.”

In short, I may be like these two. http://youtu.be/FcN08Tg3PWw

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