Let me try that again…

Hello!

I say hello, because I have literally dozens of new followers since my last blog. You know, the one which said I WASN’T going to be blogging here any more, and was moving over to my new website www.elishevasokolic.com. It is so lovely to have attracted a new crowd of people, and I really would love to hear what you think of my new website and the latest article I have posted, on my unhealthy obsession with Birthday Cakes, the link to which is below.

http://elishevasokolic.com/2013/10/08/just-dont-mention-the-edible-glue/

It is extremely nerve-wracking to be going back to square one so to speak, seeing that hit counter and follower level back to nil, after the modest success I’ve had on this site, but at the same time I’m really proud of what I’m building over on the new blog.

So to clear up the confusion….

DON’T click follow on this page! Click on either of the links above, and find the hilariously phrased follow button on THAT page, and feel free to click away! Tell your friends, share the blog, go nuts!

And about the misunderstanding.. That was totally your fault.

responsibility

 

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Thank you and…?

Slightly melodramatic perhaps.

I’ve heard that the average person from our “Generation X” will change career six times in their life. Well I’m up to 3.

At the ripe old age of 26, I’ve made a commitment to take writing seriously, and try and make it more than just a side job or distraction. (I hope that as readers and followers of my blog-you are cheering and waving pompoms at the screen right now, because if you don’t think this is a brilliant and overdue idea, no-one else will!)

So does this mean the end of blogging? (You ask in desperation)

Fear not! I have consolidated and moved my life over to www.elishevasokolic.com, and much in the way that Joey must have felt when Pacey gave her a wall (forgive the geeky Dawson’s Creek reference) I feel inspired. As much as I have loved ‘mummy blogging’ for the past two years, I do believe the unexpected popularity of my blog has been about more than just my judgemental parenting!

In short, I have more to give.

Those of you that have taken the time to comment and especially follow my blog are perhaps my favourite people in life, so I do hope that you will follow me over to the new site and keep supporting me there if you can.

For those of you who aren’t WordPress users, who enjoy my writing, but tend to just click on the Facebook links when you see them, there probably wont be that many of them in the future. It’s just a different direction I’m taking. However, if you fancy signing me up to star in your spam email, I promise to try not to induce procrastination more than once a week. I also promise not to make fun of you if you’ve been secretly stalking me for the past two years without ever letting me know.

Come see what I’m up to why don’tcha? 

Unexplained absence ( = 1 order mark.)

“You haven’t blogged in a really long time.”

I keep being told this lately. I’m not sure what the multiple speakers intent are, but I hope it isn’t to enlighten me to this obvious fact. It’s not like I’ve been typing numerous blogs all of which have somehow not made it from the publish button onto the home page, hovering somewhere in semi space, and I’ve been sitting at home wondering where all my likes are at.

Equally it would be impossible to simply ‘forget’ about my blog, as selfishly therapeutic and mind cleansing as it has become. In fact I would say there was a point where I was almost too reliant on the smile inducing magic of a new follower, or the mood elevation which correlated with my visitor stats.

Maybe you’ve missed me, (she injects hopefully.) and have been fruitlessly searching for a witty way to discuss late winter colds and coughs in toddlers, or feel better about your own babies fractious sleep by logging it against our non-existent rest. Maybe you also have parental strife, and take some kind of sadistic pleasure in comparing notes. Maybe you just know me outside of this endless scroll of screen and are just purely nosy. Either way, I suppose I owe you an explanation of sorts, for setting up the expectation that I would be around, and then disappearing without a word. If you know me well enough to know that’s actually pretty in character for me, then I suppose no explanation is necessary.

Sometimes, you just need a break. Sometimes, the very act of talking about the same things constantly can make them self fulfilling prophecies. Sometimes it just makes them tedious, even to the writer.

I don’t have any new gripes, I’m sorry to tell you. A couple things have changed, I’m now in solo-counselling instead of duo, my son talks (mostly rubbish but hey, he’s a man) and I’m finding some direction in my career aspirations. I still hate lateness and inattentive parenting and struggle with whether any woman really has a work/life balance to speak of. I still find jokes about grammar hilarious and I still worry that I’ll always let parental relationships define my own adulthood in a negative way.

Don’t think that means I haven’t had things to talk about. I’ve just had to discuss them with a combination of my unsympathetic son and the flattering hallway mirror I intend to pilfer when we leave our rental appt. I’m excited to hear what you think of their insights. Topics (and possible blog titles) to come, include:

  • The woman who told me I enjoy being horrible to toddlers.
  • Gluten free potato hater.
  • Interviewing a hand puppet book.
  • If you can’t make my son sleep then I will punish you by obsessively writing about it.

(and my personal favourite at the moment)

  • “I’m not trying to be rude, but don’t you agree your degree was a colossal waste of time?” Subtitle-now get back in the kitchen.

If that doesn’t make you hit the follow button, then nothing will. Either way, you can breathe a sigh of relief that I wasn’t abducted by aliens with all our planets secrets. I’d make a terrible ally under duress.

On the other hand, you may empathise more with the sentiment below.

Amusing cartoons, just one more thing that hasn’t changed around here.

Did You Miss Me

Birds Eye Potato Waffles

…They’re Waffley Versatile.

That’s what springs to mind when I think of the word Versatile. Does anyone else know what I’m talking about? It was an old advertisement, with a seriously catchy jingle. The interesting thing is, I have probably been singing that jingle since I was about 8, (not constantly of course, that would make me crazy) and yet I only recently realised that the word Waffley is meant to be a play on the word Awfully. I guess when we grow up with something, we dont always stop to look into it too deeply. Whats next, hidden meaning in the Barney theme tune?

Anyway, the reason why I’m thinking about the word versatile, is because I have now TWICE been nominated for the Versatile Blogger Award…. Yay! I therefore am going to stop ignoring it, and dedicate a post, (as the rules dictate) to a few of my favourite blogs. Just to warn you, here are a few ways in which I’m going to break the rules. I’m not sticking to brand new blogs, or to ones which deal with a huge variety of topics. I’m basically just giving a shout out to some fabulous writers and bloggers who I’m grateful to follow.

Without any favouritism or bias whatsoever, two great great blogs belong to the two people who nominated me in the first place, which fills me with joy that they enjoy my writing as much as I do theirs.

First off, heathergraham not only has an awesome name, which made me do a ridiculous double take when she first commented on my blog, but has a pretty fabulous blog of her own. There arent many people out there who have an interesting enough life just to talk about it openly and keep me fascinated. Thanks for the nomination and here’s yours! I’m truly glad you turned out not to be the celebrity! 🙂
My second nomination came from West End Singleton and she is another blogger who I am so glad found me! I’m so inspired by her self awareness and drive to meet her goals, and her ability to be honest with herself and her readers about them. It doesnt hurt that I pretty much agree with everything she says!

Journal of a mom is probably my favourite ‘mummy blog.’ She is insightful, meaningful, and deals with all the challenges that me and a million others mums face day on day, but best of all, deals with them with both humour and grace. I love reading about her life and looking at her (brilliant) photographs and stories.

Contradicting Kimmy is hysterical, simply because she is the type of mother who takes tons of pics of her baby, and yet is the type of person where the pics include ones of the baby ‘drinking’ out a beer can. Surely that’s enough of a reason for you to check her out.

Lastly: Well written, interesting, and fun are mostly yummy mummy, fieldwork in stilettos and pretty feet pop toe. You all brighten up my RSS feed, 😉

I have noticed that all my choices are women.. that wasnt intentional! Maybe I’ll make another post one day for the blokes. If somehow any of you dont know what you’re meant to do (where have you been?) the idea is pretty simply, to nominate your own favourite blogs and let them know!

Anyway, for now thank you all so much for continuing to read and comment. and here’s that jingle.

Spam

I’ve been drafting this post for a while, and adding to it when I can. I hope this wont only be entertaining to other WordPress users, but as I’ve developed a bit of a following *blush* I don’t mind just this once deviating from my universally relevant themes.

But just by way of explanation for those that dont blog, the comments feature on WordPress is extremely interesting. It is split into 3 parts. Comments, where people you dont know, or your friends, can add witty or interesting anecdotes to your posts, which sit there waiting for you to approve them and then get posted to the main page. Trash, where you can delete any posts you might not want up there, hate mail for example, which I would love to get, then I know I’ve made it. And finally, Spam.

Spam is truly one of the most brilliant things I have ever seen. The WordPress filter ensures that the posts never end up in the comments part, so you have to actively go to spam to look for them, but it is SO worth it.

Spam is made by computers. The intention is that by posting something to your blog, you will unwittingly lead readers to their advertising site through the link on your page. Sometimes through interest, other times through flattery, or insightful comment, Spam has to be pretty clever, using all its wily tricks so that you dont see through it and send the post straight to Trash.

[NB: Each one of these examples is copied and pasted directly from my comments tray, not edited or adapted at all.]

Here’s one such example:

This is the first time I comment on your site, but I’ve been reading your posts for about a few weeks. I admire the passion with which you tell your stories and dream that someday I can do the same. Love

Kind of sound like a foreign exchange student that’s trying too hard? Yep, that’s Spam all right! It kind of makes you want to let it through anyway, cause if you’re reading quickly, you might think it’s a genuine compliment by someone literarily challenged. Unlike the next one, which is never going to work. Stopping mid-sentence, losing your adverbs, and the casual “btw” thrown in to make you sound more human. Sorry Spam, you’ve been busted.

hi I was luck to look for your theme in yahoo, your Topics is impressive, I learn a lot in your Topics really thanks very much, btw the theme of you blog is really wonderful, where can find it

Some Spam posts are slightly cleverer. Stay short, stay to the point. Then you wont get tripped up by google translate or whatever other do-gooding detector robots you meet on your travels. The next one proves my point. It starts well, only one grammatical error, which surely we are all guilty of from time to time..

Great blog article.Really looking forward to read more. Cool….

Angel Wash…

Gosh darn it, You probably shouldnt have signed it. You’ve sort of given yourself away there.

Another type of Spam that pops up pretty often, is SMS. Not Spam via text message, no no. This is Subliminal Messaging Spam. Take the example below, and see if you have the skills to spot the advertisement hidden amongst the compliment.

hi i found your website today and I have read some good information over here. I just wanna thanks you for publicing Gratis Sex Dating it so we all can learn about it!

I think the next one might be my favourite. Realising that the advertising bot isnt going to get anywhere by complimenting me, it turns to insults to see if I’m that kind of masochistic blogger who just needs to maintain her low self confidence. Word for word, this is what I found in my comments box.

This is pointless, why am I even reading it and not enjoying verdens beste gulrotkake? I should learn to spend my time better.

Why would I post that to my blog? Even if I thought it was a real comment? Clearly written by the kind of guy who thinks he’s going to get a girl back to his place by telling her she looks fat.

And then you just have the bizarre.

If Jesus Christ lived in the here and now, he’d probably be able to pick up any chick he wanted, or so you would think.

At least with Pop ups, we cannot help but have them appear on our screens if we want more useful internet content. This scheme doesnt get past a little box on my screen which says ‘delete all.’ In fact, this blog is probably the most attention that Spam has ever recieved, combined. So who is being fooled here? After due analysis, I am therefore adding whatever money goes into this pitiful advertising venture, to my list of ridiculous financial wastes of time.

But it sure is entertaining.